cuddling my pup boba, drinking tea, working on my “1 sweat a day” rule in boxing class, versaclimber class, or megaformer lagree class

daily rituals

traveling to a place of paradise, relaxing at a day spa, coaching calls on zoom, in my office with a million post-its, at the studio creating movement

YOU CAN FIND ME:

fake people, cross-branding outfits, hustle culture to the point of burn out, bullying

I'm NOT ABOUT:

having real, honest conversations, scheduling in self-care downtime, making room for the people I love and support, creating art that shares stories and activates change

I BELIEVE IN:

I didn’t always have confidence in myself.

At 20, during my “starving artist” days, I'd been living in LA on my own for a year. I was signed with a dance agency going to audition after audition trying to “make it” or in other words book a gig to prove myself and pay my rent. I was building my reputation by taking 10-12 classes a week at LA’s famous studios, working as a work study at Edge PAC, and assisting Tabitha & Napoleon, aka NappyTabs, while trying to make ends meet by teaching 18 classes a week.

The audition that changed my life was for a burlesque show in the Bahamas that was casting 5 dancers for a 6 month contract. I walked into the studio with 300 girls dressed in very little clothing and heels and I was feeling very uncomfortable. We learned the choreography and went in groups to either get cut or stay for the next round. After 2 hours, I found myself as 1 of the 7 dancers left thinking “this would be great to book, I can pay my bills and my rent!” The director asked us to do the choreography 1 by 1. Again, this was very uncomfortable, but I danced solo and was asked to stand there as the director and production company quietly whispered.

They said “We love how you dance and perform. We love that you add a very unique hip hop style to burlesque. But we were wondering if you could lose some weight?” At this time, I was at my most physically active point taking up to 12 classes a week, teaching 18 classes, and working out morning and night. I asked, “How much would you like me to lose?” and they said “15 pounds in 2 weeks.” Surprised by this, I told them, “I could probably lose 5-7. I’ve already been consistent in my fitness and training.” And then they said, “We want you to lose 15, by any means necessary.” The only option I thought of was starving myself, but I knew I wouldn’t bring my values down for this. I told them, “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to do this for you. I’m physically at my best right now and was born with these thick thighs and booty. Thank you for your time.” and I picked my things up and left.

After the audition, I cried in my car and called my best friend. I felt defeated and didn’t think I’d make it in the industry by being myself. For the next year after this audition, I got an opportunity to showcase my choreography for the first time on an LA stage at a show called “Choreographer’s Carnival,” which led to starting my All-Female Dance Company, Essence, and led to getting my first opportunity teaching Master Classes out of the state and out of the country. 

The audition that I had to walk out on with my values on my shoulders changed my life in finding the confidence to be myself and gave me the purpose to teach being value-driven to the future generation of dancers.